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The unmitigated excitement of formal debating introductions now existing as ‘am I audible?’ made us neglect a contemporary blog, instead – in case you needed some more tales of covid-associated disruption – enjoy some retrospective (and thus certainly not bias) retelling of Astana EUDC 2020 from the perspective of the only St Andrews team: St Andrews B(lessed).

The requirement to rise before the 7:00am cut by the Discord Overlords tested the team; my BP at the thought of BP-ing iron-person aged me, as Alastair progressively tried to get closer and closer to being cut; a few pushes on messenger prevented such luckily.

While St Andrews ‘pls, anything but CG’ would have been more apt for Alastair and myself, we (well… I) elected for St Andrews B, just in case the inferiority complex was not transparent enough. I would like to think this gave a preliminary impression that we could easily subvert; under-promise, over-deliver (Miliband-style)– but a R1 4th begged to disagree (at least this is only carved into tabby-cat rather than stone).

To be fair, we ‘earned’ the 4th in R1 in CO from a split decision against OG on the motion ‘THW allow only admission based on standardised testing’. While my neuroscience routes implored a 7-minute tirade about IQ, the tab gods foresaw such to gently prevent me from an innocent equity violation. Our whole case boiled down to appeals – if only we could have appealed the calls. At CG sat Durham A (who’d eventually break 12th and enter into the QF) – Alastair bit the bullet and decided to try for a takedown whilst whipping: bravery only a few display.

Feeling slightly desponded we were allocated to our next trial in another code-caged Zoom breakout room. At the very least, I am thankful that I’m not melting in 31˚C heat even though we may have been heading to the bin room. The AI bots deliver us the news of CG – F’s were exchanged in the chat. ‘THW ban Amazon’s arbitration courts’. Could’ve be worse. With Alastair again whipping, our lukewarm 76 extension delivered us a 2nd. Maybe we won’t sink into the trash heap after all?

We’re on a roll now, consistent 2nd in the final round of day 1 ‘THO the commercialisation of mindfulness’ and R4 – day 2’s first round – ‘THB pro-democratic activists should use fake news and synthetic media to advance their cause’ make us just start to believe this may be St Andrew’s time! But, obviously it wouldn’t and couldn’t be that easy; another CG placement for R5 said we’d got our work cut out for us. Alas though, an economics motion for a pair with one economist – should be a blast, right? Obviously not, my extension abilities regress to pre-puberty as I, in the eyes of the CA,

‘[produce] parasitic substantive’ with insufficient time to be that one 70 year old Conservative backbencher that rallies about DEBT, GOVERNEMNT DEBT, WE’LL DEFAULT AND THE COUNTRY WILL COLLAPSE WITH ALL THIS LOW INTEREST RATE-FUELD EASY MONEY! (R5: ‘THR the trend of low interest rates after 2008). I pitifully and apologetically passed my cold 74 extension to Alastair in the hopes that he’d whip it to life; despite a valiant effort, it was for not – another 4th – the dream’s over lads.

Finished off day 2 strong with a 1st in OG on the motion ‘THBT 10-minute school should remove videos related to consent and LGTB rights’. We didn’t and still don’t know that much about the online school in question or Bangladesh (to which this platform belongs) meaning all our generalisation were uttered tentatively. Sadly, the same couldn’t be said for other teams as we all were scolded with an equity briefing. CO – an A team from an institution unknown to us – just couldn’t accept the glory of our first St Andrews’ win. Post-call resulted in a painfully awkward Zoom meeting as CO themselves tried to roll the CA – ‘them: but our economic analysis is CG-beating and thus OG-defeating, us: hehe radicalising centrists goes burr’; with each weak attempt the other teams (OO, CG), one-by-one, exited the room call. Alastair and I saw it to the end; just to make sure our prized 1st wouldn’t be snatched.

Entering into the third day of debating, we approached R7 with -3 overall – the dream was dim, but still alive, kept alive by all three being out rounds. In CO, we could only watch helplessly as OO took everything – we had nothing left – bar a principle and some reframing. On the motion of ‘THW erase society’s memories and evidence of the criminal past of former convicts’ we pleaded with the panel: won’t something think of the children! Evidently children didn’t pull at their heartstrings, neither did our framing of how society would descend into greater paranoia-induced racial prejudicial reasoning. While we sensed it, unbeknown entirely to us, a 3rd sealed the door to breaking.

With the taste of R7 still bitter, we operated as if we had ridden to success under our opening. R8 saw us defending the act of cooperation between the leaders of occupied countries and their occupiers from OO. Both Alastair and I, retrospectively, gave our, equally, best performance of the competition, riding clear to 1st. Who knew persuasiveness of submissiveness?

The last round. The circle is now complete. We found ourselves in OG with CG containing another Scottish team, a member of which had travelled to St Andrews to judge our Euro trials – a sweet coincidence. It may have been our last round, but at least we went out high. Challenging Oxford (well, Oxford C) in OO, I would like to report we crushed them with ease, but looking at my speaker score, we just got by. Nonetheless, as they (or at least I) shall write for ages to come, the Scottish teams combined forces – analytical extensions in hand – to take government over opposition! Huzzah!

In the end, courageous as though we were, I, Alastair and Anna-Ruth watched as the delayed, 5fps, YouTube breaking stream delivered us the inevitable truth – no St Andrews breaks. Ending the competition on -3, at least Alastair and I can hold some confidence in a debating year well spent and spent well.

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Sorry we didn’t do the blog. I don’t have an excuse at all. Quite frankly, the best I can think of is that I am surrounded by shit chat.

Day 3

Day 3 was a meteoric rise. Duncan and I decided we were actually quite good at debating, and as a result did somewhat better at debating. We know this because the results of Round 7 were accidentally released. Pity they didn’t accidentally release the SOAS tab.

Our boy Jacob decided he was actually alright at debating too: a decision that found him chairing Round 9.

In the face of Lucas’ refusal to contribute to this final blog post, on the grounds that it was composed for the sole purpose of tarnishing his good name, the lion’s share of responsibility falls to Aidan. Just as it did in the final day of debates. They managed two creditable 2nds and a 4th. Nowhere near good enough to rival Duncan and I’s triple 1st, but then what can you rightfully expect when only one man is at the plough 😉.

In other news, I have become shitposting famous thanks to a fantastic meme following the events of Round 7.

Image may contain: 1 person

Break night was bad. It began with Scottish Caucus which as per usual was a hellscape. Then we went off to the beach bar social, all at assorted levels of intoxication. For some reason, this social was held at a bar that remained open to the public, and, given it was located on a beach, was filled with old people and children. Something tells me they don’t care which order Oxford A-D broke in.

The EUDC tradition of announcing the break on too quiet a microphone in too loud a place continued. Sat at the back of the crowd, mobility aid slowly sinking into the sand, I made out the faint sound of GUU 2 and Durham 1 breaking. We celebrated, although I cannot help thinking that meritocratic judge break forgot one important Round 9 chair.

Finals Day 1

Following the usual lack of St Andrews breaks, none of us made it to breakfast. Resurrecting ourselves around midday, we commenced on a very long and very hot walk for food and then a similarly long and hot walk to the out-rounds venue. I can attest, this was not a good idea.

Arriving at the out-rounds venue, I was reminded that disabled people are obviously no good at this debating malarky. This was evidently clear from the lack of air-conditioning and the flight of stairs to the announcement hall. We managed to watch GUU’s quarter final but I remained very hot.

Now, I cannot really tell you what happened the rest of the day but I don’t imagine it was very much. This is because I have discovered that Scotland is the best country in the world. This is due to its cool temperatures. As is Euros tradition, I had found myself slightly too warm for slightly too long, and then found myself explaining to a Greek paramedic that my blood pressure is, in fact, always like that.

That night, Jacob ended up drowning a litre of Don Simon sangria, while rambling on about how great cheap Spanish wine is, while others drank far more palatable drinks, like chocolate milk and ouzo (mixed together, of course)

Finals Day 2

Finally, we reach the finals. In a surprising turn of events, Duncan found himself at Council expanding the opt-out policy and I found myself having to choose the Council Equity Officer.

Finals come and go and it is announced that Cambridge 1 are the 2019 Champions. I think the Scottish reaction to this is best summed up by a text I received from Malcolm after the announcement which simply read, “I’m retiring.”

It was then we noticed the tab was released (seemingly a month early *cough cough*), and Duncan and I discovered that we were, indeed, actually alright at debating having taken three firsts in a row on day three and ending the competition on -1. That being said, I am now the proud recipient of a 69 speaker score.

Aidan and Lucas ended the competition on -4. They were quite happy with that. No really, they were. It’s well known that Shengwu finished on -4 his first Euros. Watch this space.

Aidan and Jacob took themselves off to bed. Meanwhile, Duncan drank a margarita, Lucas befriended some more Croatians, and I watched as various debaters repeatedly sat on the food table sending it crashing onto the ground along with 30-50 chicken rolls.

So that rounds out Euros. Having discovered that Duncan and I are the best team since Dan and Ryan, all in all, I guess it was fine.

Image may contain: Jacob Roberts, Lucas de Carvalho, Duncan Bowyer and Anna-Ruth Cockerham, people smiling, people standing and outdoor

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Hola (Greek for hello)

We pick up where we left off yesterday.

Our young, intrepid hero ventured off into the Athenian night. While the rest of the St Andrews contingent were sensibly preparing for the next day by sleeping early, Lucas met some Croatians and together they [Redacted].

In the morning, we were treated to a solid Greek breakfast; heavy on the halva, light on the tattie scones.

Round four: THBT it is in the interest of dominant organised religions for their leaders to declare more progressive interpretations of traditional dogma* *e.g. on dietary and pilgrimage requirements, the acceptability of contraception, same-sex relationships

Aidan and Lucas took a heavy second on a religion motion. As penance they each said seven hail Marys.

Anna-Ruth enjoyed being dominant for once, and St Andrews 1 took a second too.

Round five: THBT consumers should predominantly aim to buy locally produced goods and services

Anna-Ruth and Duncan take their first 4th.

Aidan and Lucas have no comment.

Round six: THW break up Disney

Jacob unsuccessfully rolled a chair! He’s on the path to breaking finally.

Aidan says he whipped the living daylights out of Lucas’s “fire” extension to come first and finish on -2.

Duncan did not whip the living daylights out of Anna-Ruth’s lukewarm extension. Anna-Ruth and Duncan took their second 4th causing the A team to slip behind the B team for the first time ending on -4.

Heading into the final day spirits are a little low but after another cracking breakfast we’ll be back in the saddle. But first, Lucas is once again the sole representative of St Andrews at the social.

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Hey everybody. We are in Athens! It is sooooo much nicer here than in Novi Sad.

St Andrews A, St Andrews guns, money, and drugs: the new Holy Trinity, and Jacob had some memorable experiences at the Athens Open over the Weekend.

Firstly, we all shared an airbnb together like a wholesome family. But with no air conditioning we were a very underdressed family.

Then, we did some debating.

St Andrews A had an amazing time at the Athens Open. It was so amazing that they forgot all about it so you should not even bother asking them about it.

St Andrews guns, money, and drugs: the new Holy Trinity were starstruck at the quality of the judges who judged them. Although Lucas denies this.

In the end, St Andrews A finished on -4 while St Andrews guns, money, and drugs: the new Holy Trinity finished on -2.

Jacob still does not know if he won judging, but he did not roll any chairs.

In other news, when Aidan arrived in his hotel room, he asked ‘where is the bin?’ Lucas replied, ‘I don’t know. Just ask Duncan and Anna Ruth.’

By the end of Day 1 of EUDC, Duncan and Anna Ruth were on straights while Lucas and Aidan were on -2. Both Lucas and Aidan maintain that the 3rd that they took in round 3 was wholly unjustified and that they 100% should have received a 1st.

We’ll see how this plays out.

Individually:

  • Lucas insists that he is not on a mission, despite swiping through tinder while writing the blog.
  • Aidan and Jacob collapsed as soon as we returned to the hotel due to our 6:30am (!) start.
  • Anna-Ruth is on a personal crusade to stop people standing in the door ways of the announcement hall (which has carpet up the walls?!).
  • Duncan is enjoying the benefits of having a partner who gets him a room with AC every round.

We’re all looking forward to Day 2

Peace

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[Frankie goes to Hollywood: Welcome to the Pleasure Dome]

Wesley is not going to win worlds.

It’s New Years Day, otherwise known as International Hangover Day. But really, the significance of the arbitrary passage of time is meaningless. So welcome, instead, to the tale of one of the greatest tragedies has ever known. In true 1 Melbourne Place tradition, this will be expressed through 10 songs, carefully crafted to form a musical journey through the epochal end of the universe. Yes, DJ Discourse (reformed) have produced for you the perfect hangover curing playlist. Read and listen on to discover all.

[Bill Withers: Lovely Day-

Perhaps the greatest hurt in this tragic tale stems from a reminder of how spirits were in the beginning. Wesley was going to break. Sam and Malcolm might have broken. Ruth and Matt, according to Nish, could still break. Toni was in good rooms and could break. Richard Hunter (who?) could still break. In short, everyone could still break, and Wesley was going to win worlds.

And indeed, throughout the course of the day, it really was a lovely day. The sun was shining. The temperature was warm. The debates, on the face of it, appeared to go well. Things were looking up. In short, a fine day with fine people in a fine place. A lovely day.

[Talking Heads: Once in a Lifetime]

So lovely was the day that, by its end, it really did feel like we had a once in a lifetime moment to come good. Descending the hill to find beer at Pick n Pay, buying 6 cans for less then £4, staring up at the sun, thoughts turned to excited backtabbing. All the pieces seemed to be feeling into place. The teams were in the right positions. The pull ups and pull downs made sense. The debates felt about right. Both teams thought they’d done well. The final odds of Sam and Malcolm breaking were placed at 1 in 3, later upgraded to 2 in 5. The tab numbers seemed to work. It was going to be fine.

The beer began to flow, and the volume steadily rose. Yet underneath the hedonistic exuberance of youth, a gaping black hole was beginning to emerge.

[Just Jack: Starz in their eyes]

Dreams of fame and fortune grew and grew. Excitement at SSDC caucus (piss up) reached a fever pitch. We were going to enter the realm of champions. As we worked through whatever rubbish was happening at Worlds Council this year, Scotland felt like giants striding over the globe. Lofty statements abounded. Right wing backlash exploded. We could change the world, and we were going to reshape it in the image of Scotland. What William Wallace started, we would finally finish.

Yet look at us now, and we see the truly fractured nature of this facade. The warning signs were emerging. Ideas at caucus became stupid. We ran out of beer. And further backtabbing suggested that maybe, just maybe, results were not all that we thought. The stars were beginning to point elsewhere, yet so fixated were we on acting out Braveheart that frankly, it was all lost in the noise.

We were going to change the world. The final ingredient was ready. Enter the large empty cricket pitch, sound system, and the emergence of dark matter to complete the universe’s transformation. Dark matter, in this instance, appeared as Yakka.

Things were about to get absolutely fucking huge.

[Bee Gees: Tragedy]

Except, wait. They weren’t. For on that fair South African field, the battle was finally exhausted, and the world was lost. Once again, as throughout history, Scotland was annexed by the English. The tradition of valiant defeat continued.

The break rolled. First, no judges broke. Frankly, disgraceful. But no problem, there was still hope in the teams. As we rolled down the break, familiar names appeared: “Oxford”, “Cambridge”, “USU”, “Harvard”. Team codes had changed absolutely nothing.

Great Scottish allies broke. LSE B and Durham A and B all smashed it. Victory smelt near. But then, we entered the forties. And it soon became evident that we had lost. None of us broke. England had triumphed. We were defeated.

At this point, there is only one thing left to say. Fuck debating. There shall be no more discussion of it.

[James Brown: Get Up (I feel like being a) Sex Machine]

Some people took this approach to dealing with disappointment. Legends.

Though actually, even that ended up being disappointing. Another story.

[The Streets: Dry your Eyes Mate]

For the rest though, there was nothing to do but wallow in the great sadness that had overcome them. Upset and grief filled the air.

There was only one thing for it. Fill the void with yakka. And by god, were Scotland good at that. Pure vodka was copiously consumed. Victory here, at least, was assured. 

So assured was it, that noone really has any idea what happened. Matt Singer hosted an after party in his room while passed out. The only possible adjective to describe this: “Huge”

[The Verve: The Drugs Don’t Work]

So it was that we awoke with a jolt on the first morning of the glorious New Year. Jolt is maybe generous. Everyone felt atrocious. Malcolm declared this his second worst hangover ever (and there have been some big ones, be assured). 

Ignorance of the advice on yakka, it seemed, had contributed to further pain. Don’t pre drink, they said. After 4 cans, Matt and Sam declared they had not pre-drank enough. How wrong they were to be proven.

Don’t eat the lemons, they said. After eating several, Ruth thought she could do anything. How wrong she was to be proven.

And had the yakka cured the crushing defeat? Probably, but it also drove Scotland into a pernicious hungover stasis. This hangover was big.

Paracetamol didn’t work. Anti diarrhoea medicine didn’t work. Only a long, arduous and difficult expedition to the local MacDonalds could save us.

Over chicken nuggets, finally, we vowed to fight another day. 

[Crowded House: Don’t Dream it’s Over]

And so, dear reader, that was it. Now we bask in the South African sun, hangover slowly dissipating. Battles lie behind us, but the war is still to come. For now we enter the epoch defining war of the social tab.

Wish us luck, and never forget this. They’ll be talking about it in Aikmans for years to come. Because there, everyone knows your name. And never forget, that name is St Andrews motherfucking Union Debating Society, the OLDEST and FINEST debating society the world has ever known. Don’t ever forget it.

[Aikmans: Aikmans Theme song]

Yours,

DJ Discourse (reformed)

PS: You can sample these musical delights in all their joined together glory here: https://open.spotify.com/user/sammaybee/playlist/0fEP5zjpFZ1YVwD2LpeQbe?si=FDuQAm3cSYO2PsDyPtXy5g

PPS: your writer was hungover as fuck when this was written so please forgive them if this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, no responsibility is taken for you having wasted 5 minutes reading this

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Wesley still might win Worlds.

It’s day 2 of debating, and it’s been a remarkable day of highs and lows and even lower lows. We’ve soared, we’ve fallen, we’ve flamed ), we’ve shat all over, we’ve been shat all over. In summary, it’s chaos (except the actual organisation of the tournament, which has been excellent and fire and extremely on time, well done Cape Town).

First, what you’ve actually been waiting for (lol, saddos): the preamble. Today’s delicious preamble is on countries night, the internationally renowned feast of cultural sharing, friendship across nations, and global peace. Or, in a short form, a big piss up. Being competitive people, we didn’t get that drunk, but at least we went (shoutout to boring UDS alumni such as that guy who broke at Euros who have historically boycotted this illustrious event). Highlights mostly consisted of a ridiculously strong rum from Australia that genuinely was still on fire in my throat about 10 minutes after the event, but most importantly, stealing England’s table. Freedom reigned. Fuck Brexit. Scotland won the biggest battle of all.

Or rather, some English and other foreign twats who have culturally appropriated Scottish culture acted like twats.

Anyway, debating.

St Andrews A (otherwise known as team codes have seriously erased our big dick A team energy): 2nd, 4th, 1st (-1)

St Andrews B (otherwise known as continued erasure by team codes that no one can be reminded who the REAL St. Andrews bois are): 3rd, 3rd, 4th (-4)

So, what happened. The end of the universe was postponed slightly, but still, the signs are ominous. Malcolm and Sam did ok on a decolonisation debate (meh maybe expected Africa etc), then lost an economics debate solely consisting of wanky terms about financial markets that Malcolm didn’t understand (unheard of), and won a debate on municipal government (basically Malcolm’s wet dreams). Highlight perhaps being Sam stating in said debate that bankers (soon to be including himself) are all fucking twats, don’t matter, and are not real people. Throughout the entire debate on CDCs, CDOs, derivatives and HFTs, Malcolm simply had to resort to dreams of the gym. He’ll be back soon. Nevertheless, still competitive and see what happens tomorrow, where as Malcolm puts it, a load of nerds have no idea what’s coming. In his words, some nerds are gonna be totally RINSED.

Ruth and Matt got BIG ERASURE. BAD JUDGES. BAD****JUDGES. ATROCIOUS CALLS. Sad!

But seriously. R5 the prominent well known somewhat important judge who shall not be named but may be well known to those in the know hated their case so much he decided to simply state that their case was wrong, even though no one said so, and therefore THEY HAD TO TAKE THE 3RD. ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT.

Ah, but how can it get any worse? Well, enter another somewhat important prominent judge in a slightly different capacity in R6. The core principle that beat our valiant compatriots: people in cities work harder so they are more deserving of the benefits of the state. Yup. Fuck St Andrews. Fuck Clent.

So, get ready for some people to get rekt by some spicy cases eh.

But, real news people. Wesley, Wesley, Wesley. The laws of physics are hanging by a thread. For the great boy is on -1. He still gonna break. The great showdown between St Andrews and Wesley beckons. The world is about to crash. Prepare for Ctrl Alt Delete.

Wish us luck for tomorrow, send bad judge prayers, and see you all hungover as fuck on New Years Day.

Peace out bros

Xxxx

Ps: Malcolm on a mission update: Real tight gym shirt today. It looked HUGE. Shame about the chunky legs though.

P.P.S.

Sam: “Toni what is up with your keyboard it’s messed up.”

Toni: “It’s Japanese. Stop being racist.”

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Howzit Cape Town

 

Wesley is going to win worlds.
Welcome, one and all, to the intense rollercoaster otherwise known as Cape Town WUDC. Take a glass, sit down by your fire, stare outside at the rain, and think about Malcolm wearing shorts. It’s sunny here, and the debating is almost as intense as the fiery ball in the sky.
Before talking about debating, clearly, we need the preamble. Matt Singer and Sam Maybee went to Ethiopia, and yeah, up yours guys, we’re still alive. Indeed the trip was so unremarkable and nice that there is almost nothing to say about it, though more than some shit layover in some shit lounge in some shit airport in the Middle East (cough Ruth cough). But, have you ever had Ethiopian food in Ethiopia? No you haven’t, but we have, so Matt and I have already basically won worlds. Checkmate.
What’s the point of debating after that achievement, I hear you cry! Well, apparently we’ve wasted all this money to be here and speak for 63 minutes each (yes, the average length of a single episode of your favourite TV programme), so we’d best talk about it.
First note. This is almost scarily well organised. We finished on time. The tab hasn’t broken. The org comm are walking around bare foot and seem super chill. The food is edible. It’s sunny. It’s basically paradise. So top marks in all departments for Cape Town so far (social tab to be released shortly).
Second note. Debating.
Maybee and Risk (formerly known as St Andrews A, fucking team codes ruining our zen): 4th, 1st, 1st
Batten and Singer (formerly known as St Andrews B, fucking team codes hurting Malcolm and Sams feelings): 2nd, 1st, 3rd
In sum, today broke the laws of physics. Sam and Malcolm lost a motion on Africa (unheard of), won a motion arguing torture is good (unheard of), and won a motion in social justice (unheard of). We shall see what tomorrow brings. Matt and Dan had a great day of consistency and being fire woo.
Interestingly, everyone else in SSDC is also on straights. So tomorrow shall be a bloodbath. But Wesley (remember?!) is on +1. +1! Chilling with the big guys. Slaying giants. Having structure. The laws of physics have been well and truly broken.
Join us tomorrow to witness the final collapse of the universe into some phat black hole, it will be lit. Suggestions on a postcard for what Wesley should do to celebrate winning worlds- winners released tomorrow.
St Andrews xxxx
PS: Malcolm on a mission update: Big (tight) t shirt. Big (tight) shorts. Big muscles.
PPS: Follow ur boiz on Instagram @udsblog

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Zbogom EUDC!

It’s the final blog post of EUDC 2018. I hope the rest of the St Andrews team had as good a time speaking together as I did and are having good journeys home. The tab has now been released so we have spicy details on the closed rounds.

St Andrews A received 4th, 1st and 4th;
St Andrews B received 3rd, 2nd and 2nd.

Both St Andrews teams finished EUDC 2018 with 13 team points, although the tradition of the B team finishing ahead of A continues its hiatus with St Andrews A receiving high marks in speaker points including 82s for both Lucas and Duncan in round 8. Congratulations to both and to everyone for strong performances, including Toni for her success judging some of the top rooms. I must personally thank Anna Ruth with whom I had the honour of speaking, witnessing her deliver some excellent and impassioned speeches.

Back to what you’re really here for: discourses on drunkenness. Yakka night was a fantastic vodka-fuelled experience. I quickly upgraded the can of local beer I had brought by filling it with the citrusy elixir. Before long we were all chatting vivaciously, receiving wisdom and cocktail recipes from SSDC old hands. I must salute Toni and Anna Ruth for their restraint, however, as both sensibly stuck to less potent beverages and avoided awaking on Saturday with a deathly hangover (and a bruised knee from an overenthusiastic attempt to climb the Hotel Park staircase).

The following day brought the EUDC finals which were held at a restaurant in the middle of Serbian woodlands. The peculiarity of the venue (and the bizarre cold-meats-and-bread free-for-all dinner) was more than made up for with the free drink tokens and excellent finals and ESL finals. Generous Serbian measures of vodka were poured aplenty and we ended the evening by posing in the SSDC photo. Congratulations to Tel Aviv who won both the ESL and Open Finals; Lucia Arce Cubas who brilliantly landed top speaker in both ESL and open categories; and the King of Scotland, Owen Mooney, who excellently chaired the Open Final. This morning, then, we packed up and finally said zbogom to EUDC. Before I sign off on this year’s blog I must add that it was an honour and a privilege to represent the UDS at EUDC. Indeed, an amazing way to round off an incredible first year of debating.

Živi dugo i prosperitetno!

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Day 4 and 5 EUDC 2018:

Hello keen people,
Can’t believe you’re still this keen to find out about St Andrews at EUDC 2018. It is honestly not that interesting <3.Thanks for staying keen.
Except for Duncan Bowyer, who obviously was not keen enough to write this blog. Mr. Inclusive has managed to attend four internationals without writing a single blog for St. Andrews. We appreciate his trying efforts to try to write the blog the hour before he left.
(Zaine is sad because Duncan broke his promise on Zaine’s birthday. Wow, not very inclusive after all.)
So we would like to apologise for not putting the blog up last night, but obviously break night was v intoxicating event and we wanted to get utterly smashed.
Update on the debate competition:

Rounds 7, 8 and 9 summary:
It was closed rounds and the tab is not up yet so we don’t know the official scores. Toni, however, managed to be a wing for a room with the top-breaking teams for Round 9 yayyy.

It was break night, no one broke. (unless you count Duncan Crowe for St. Andrews)

We would like to congratulate Edinburgh 2, Owen Mooney, Chris Paschali and Nish Hegde for breaking at EUDC 2018 for SSDC!!

Now on to non-debating highlights of the last two days:

There was a fight between a bus driver and a taxi driver. The bus driver punched the taxi driver for trying to overtake him. However, the taxi driver went straight for the throat. It was utterly brutal. Duncan calls it “a true Serbian experience.” Message him for more first-hand spicy details.

Unfortunately, Lucas has given up on the mission. Tinder was unsuccessful. Break night broke him.

Duncan has started a new mission for waifus. Clearly, he’s missing his girlfriend too much. It’s okay Duncan, one day more.

Break night was somewhat eventful. We were in a club floating in the middle of the Danube River. The club closed earlier than 601 (quite shockingly) resulting in an afters in which only St Andrews, Vincent, Liam and Cynthia managed to get to. Everyone else was dead.

Summary: we miss Pablos.

Lucas disappeared in the middle of the night. Duncan left in the morning. We wish them safe travels to their final destination.
We would like to thank “Daddy Duncan” for his parental guidance during our first international. Unfortunately, he decided to abandon his children for his girlfriend.

We toured the lands of Novi Sad. We searched for pretty landscapes and facades to up Toni’s insta-game, (her clear main priority during this trip). As well as explored Nikola Tesla’s Escape Room. Ultimately proving that what we lack in debating, we make up for in solving puzzles and outlasting the rest of SSDC at the break night social.

Lucas “on a mission” quote of the day: “I learned about masturbation from the book.”

Stay tuned tomorrow for the update on finals ❤

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Hello Friends!
Update on the debate competition and current scores:
St Andrews A: 3rd 1st 3rd – ended the day on -2

St Andrews B: 3rd 4th 2nd – ended the day on -4
Toni was first wing in good rooms for 2/2 rounds yayyy.

Anna-Ruth had to leave for Round 6, so Zaine ironmanned and got a 2nd!!
In Round 5, an info slide about ASEAN explicitly stating the Philippines made Toni very happy. She was jumping up with joy that people were gonna talk about her region.
However, the tab team and the CA team decided to crush Toni’s soul. Midway through the preparation they called everybody back into the announcements room. A tabbing error reportedly being the cause. Then they said that it was due to the info slide being revealed at different times for different rooms. Then later Duncan Crowe himself came and told us all that it was not the tab’s fault and one CA accidentally revealed the motion to his country group chat before the motion was actually revealed. Disappointed that Duncan Crowe did not betray EUDC for Scotland.
Instead, a motion about South Korea and DPRK reunification was set. Still about Asia, Toni was content, but not as much. Toni is disappointed that the most important actor in any debate, the Philippines, was barely mentioned so far in EUDC.
The dinner offering was a bit light so we decided to order some pizza. Our “five star” hotel, where the wifi barely works and banned from the pool because of Chris Paschali’s alleged skinny dipping, did not appreciate our pizza delivery. The hostess shouted at Zaine and asked “Do you know how to act in a five star hotels?” to which Zaine replied “I have been to many five star hotels and always had food deliveries but this is your country and I will respect your customs. We then ate the pizza outside and not in our room.

As per usual, Duncan is mainly talking about his girlfriend who he misses very much. In two days, he’s ditching EUDC for her. He misses her so much that he inches his bed to Lucas’ one inch closer everyday. Lucas is not pleased.

Lucas “on a mission” quote of the day: “Sometimes you’re not erect and that’s okay.”

Note: Lucas realised that Tinder may help with his mission.

Lucas Zauvek!!

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